My column for The Gloss today was all about reconnecting with long lost loved ones and this morning The Today Show featured a heart-warming story about two women who reconnected after many years of silence when someone mistakenly received a way-laid postcard the one meant to sent to the other. All the ladies involved cried and made Matt Lauer uncomfortable.
Since I moved back to Seattle last year after a ten year absence, I've become familiar with the strangeness and wonder of the reconnect. Sometimes the bond is still as strong as it ever was and sometimes it's all but dissolved. And yet even in those latter cases, the dynamic doesn't seem to change much. It's remarkable how much seeing someone you knew way back when can make you feel like a teenager again, for better or worse. Sometimes it's just worth the catharsis to reunite with someone even if you don't stay in touch; it's easy to let go of whatever animosity you've been holding on to once you see are both sitting there, fully-grown and moved on, even the most epic grudge feels ridiculous.
So yes, a cup of a tea and a spell of reminiscence can be good for the soul, but when should you leave well enough alone? I'm always reading about people who find old flames on Facebook and leave their spouses, is this really a thing? Surely sometimes looking in the rearview is a very bad idea.
When should the past just stay in the past?
I have to say, I'm not a big fan of the reconnect. A few years ago an old friend came to visit, and as she perched on the edge of my couch, it was immediately clear that all our chemistry had gone. In the old days, she'd have kicked off her shoes and might even pulled her bra out her sleeve.
ReplyDeleteCome to think of it, I haven't had ANY good reconnections - they always seem obligatory, and pathetically hopeful on my part. (A friend! A real live friend!)
What's that about?